i miss you
when it comes to love,
the hardest lesson a boy must learn is to keep it in his pants.
and the hardest lesson a girl must learn is to keep it in her chest.
be patient.
everything is made beautiful in its time..
to love, and be in love are two very different things.
i have loved many.
though i have never been in love.
To lie next to you
With no love, and no fear
Or are they just the things
That brought us here?
I think I’ve given up
On giving you up.
For even when you’re gone
You’re still there.
There’s something about you.
That keeps me.
I love you
More than you would know
Your smile is painted
In my mind
Your name engraved
Somewhere inside
I am young no more
I know you well
And though I have damned you
From my heart
And loved you with all my life
Side to side
We stand
And sometimes I think
I would die
If you left.
For though you were gone
You were still there.
You’re always there.
Brooding over the scintillations
That slowly dissipated
With the dawn
And the efflorescence
Of this divine seed
Has ceased
With the spring
When we all assumed
The warmth would bring them
Into full bloom
And their colour would set
In the sun
But instead
Their ephemeral beauty
Fades to ash
And settles
Upon my mystified heart
The ineffable blow
Left me more jaded
Than you will ever know
For your incipience
Somehow distilled the poisoned air
And now
My hope and my pain
Has conflated
And I am left
Wanting nothing more
From this languorous seed
And I am further away
From the denouement
Of this expanding equation
Than I am from casting the treasure away
And I’m caught in a coma
Of contemplation
Suspended
Between heaven and the grave
With no promise
As to the answer that waits
And the river of grace
That drove through my objections
To this case
Has reduced to but a droplet
For silence has erased
All its splendour
Good intentions lie dormant
As the plight echoes cycles of the past
Evoking fear that could destroy
It’s true course
And once again I’m left
With no perfect resolve
No verdict
To still my screaming mind
I’ve been left with but one choice
To seize this unbearable silence
That I may learn
How to walk alone.
A thousand eyes to see through
And yet still
I am left pondering.
Is it all just a waste?
For i thought I saw the flicker
Of a new flame
And so I waited
Just to see it once again
And now I am abandoned
In an empty room
Questioning if it is a graveyard
Or if it is a womb
I laid out the map
And traced my finger along each route
Yet still I wait for the wind
To direct my every move
Enough.
Enough now.
I know this feeling all to well.
A season of silence
And of uprooting
A season to break the spell
Tip toe to the door now
You won’t even hear me leave
I won’t say a word
You will not even hear me breathe
Though my feet are planted by my frailty
I’d be weaker if I stayed
So with all the strength I have left
I send me on my way
lay me down in your pastures
in your fleeting field of flowers
remind me i am loved
and i am yours.
i reject this rejection
and i praise you for the detection
for a while, i let it pin my wings
i guess i did not believe
that i’d crumble this way again
i guess it took the losses
to show me who i am
i thought i was walking
in your footsteps
i thought it was you
writing my name.
but as you let them leave
and led me to the desert
i saw my name,
was written by those incomplete.
my life i’ve loved you
but only now i know you
wrap your wings around me.
fill every inch of me.
as i watched the candle burn
i prayed that like the wax i would be
with the fire of your spirit
melting my heart
to release the divine fragrance
locked within me
you disengaged the padlock
as my soul bowed
and i laid my mind
and heart into your hands
but still it remembers
the slowly fading embers
and cries for you
to fan it back into flame
but i refuse to forget
that you are God
I refuse to allow your glory
to be drowned out by the fog
with or without them, i am yours
with or without them, i am yours
It’s not about fire falling from the sky. It’s not about God coming down and physically breaking the chains from around your hands and feet. It’s not about divine intervention every time you make a wrong decision. It’s about choice. It’s about believing God’s word when he says he gave YOU a Spirit of power, love and self control. Not fear. And that He has already set you free. It’s about getting the truth on the inside of you, that your flesh wouldn’t lead you to live a slave to the lies. It’s about allowing that Spirit to become alive in you. And following it, always. It’s about one victory at a time. It’s about putting on your armor, every day. And as your discipline grows, it dies.
all i wanted…
was peace.
i almost had it.
it was on the tip of my fingers
it’s like i had just learned how to breathe
and like the crimson rose
that sleeps with the sun
that had drawn it’s curtain
until the fresh gasp of dawn
i was slowly awakening
slowly unveiling
slowly exposing my naked heart
as the drops of sunlight poured upon it
the bonds that tied me
became the substance of my wings
and my mind was fixed
on heavenly things
all these bruises, quietly fading
and all the pain, gently evading
a smile was born
streaming deep within my soul
Though in a moment, it was stole
As he knit me in my mother’s womb
He mapped out all my days
I was born to be complete
I was born to lead the way
The crown may sit upon my head
But mind dispelled its authority
But now I come subservient
Into your courts, where I can dream
Pour you unction on my heart
And infuse it with your fragrance
Though I’ve walked through many valleys
I’ll stand a testament to your faithfulness
And you have watched my every effort
To purify this light
But today I collapse into your arms
And ask you to refine me with your fire
Engrave your promises
On the frame of my soul
That every step I take
Would be led by your word
I refuse to be an almost
When I was made to be complete
Resume the divine artwork
You were painting in me
